Many people contact us to help fix a dysfunctional relationship.
Twin flame relationships, soulmate relationships, karmic relationships…all of them.
Not all relationships are created equal. And there are times when what works for one relationship may not necessarily work for another.
There are times when you will need to take action to fix a dysfunctional relationship. But more importantly, doing nothing can be the solution needed to fix a dysfunctional relationship.
Doing nothing can be one of the hardest things to do, especially when it comes to matters of the heart. Very often, however, it’s the only thing to do, especially where life lessons are involved. And where soulmate and twin flame relationships are concerned, you can bet life lessons will be involved.
There are times and occasions where taking action is a good thing, like when you’re preparing for a hurricane or running from an oncoming train. Then again, there are actually times when it is best to stand down, be idle and do nothing.
Our callers ask what specific steps they can take to fix a dysfunctional relationship. They ask what they can do to make it happen sooner or faster. Or how they can improve the quality of their relationships. And they want to know what they can do to get a twin flame or soulmate to change. Many times there will be a clear course of action that can be implemented to to fix a relationship.
There are also times when the clear cut answer is to do nothing.
When you’re in an emotionally vulnerable position and want to make things happen, it can make you feel helpless You have no control over the situation. And that’s just the point.
There are many times where you can have zero control to fix a relationship because your soulmate or twin flame needs to be the one to create the change. It’s time to realize, in all of this, doing nothing is way better than doing something that exacerbates the problem.
When it comes to relationships of all kinds, not just spiritual connection ones, doing NOTHING, and taking zero action, is what must be done to achieve the desired outcome. It’s very hard for some folks to digest, but sometimes it really is just that simple.
It’s not always about you, even though it affects you. So it’s up to the other person to do it all. We often feel the problem or issue at hand belongs to both parties, when in fact it really is a problem with our partner.
If we erroneously believe that taking any kind of action is better than sitting around and doing nothing, we may be in for a big awakening. The consequences of taking action, when it’s not called for, can be long lasting, even permanent. And many times, the results of those actions will not be the results you truly desire.
DOING SOMETHING COULD MAKE IT WORSE
When you do something to try and fix a dysfunctional soulmate or twin flame relationship, you can actually be making things worse. At times we see someone needs to reach out to the loved one to fix a relationship and put it back together. On the other hand, there are just as many times when doing anything will be the worst thing you can do.
One of the main reasons is that the dynamics of the soulmate or twin flame relationship must change. In order for that to happen, you need to allow the time it takes to create that change. Change takes time, it doesn’t happen overnight. And it doesn’t permanently change overnight. You must allow the situation, or the other person, the time they need in order to change. Especially if you want that change to stick.
How long is that? When will they change?
Well everyone changes and transforms at different speeds. Everyone’s evolution is different. Just like some people lose weight faster than others, they change at different rates as well. Change is a process between and individual and their higher self. It’s a very personal thing between them and the Divine. In order for the changes to fix a relationship, they will take time.
One of the best examples of this is when a soulmate or twin flame relationship ends. They don’t always end permanently. If you didn’t want the relationship to end you may feel the need to do something to fix it, and try and win your ex back. When you haven’t heard from your ex, you may worry they’ve forgotten all about you. You may worry about them moving on with someone else, or losing feelings for you. You feel you must reach out before it is too late.
The silence is deafening and the waiting is driving you crazy. You may be thinking about them all the time, night and day. Thoughts of them just don’t leave your mind. Then you rationalize you must reach out to them because they’re on your mind so much. You had no patience to begin with and can’t take the lack of action on their part. Someone must do something, and you feel at this point that person must be you.
Look at the reason, or reasons, why you broke up in the first place. Who did the breaking up? Were there major problems or issues in the relationship on their end causing this relationship to end? Did you throw out an ultimatum they did not follow through with?
Have they disappeared and simply stop talking to you for no good reason? Did they leave you for someone else? Were you miserable in that relationship but are now glamorizing it? Are you focusing on the good times and second guessing yourself, thinking you may have done the wrong thing? Are you obsessing about your need to persuade them to take you back?
If the answer to any of those questions is yes, there is a good chance that you are finding an excuse to make contact with your ex. That is not going to fix a relationship. We understand you’re impatient and want them back as soon as possible so you can reconcile.
But if nothing has changed, what is the point of making contact? More than likely it will lead to another breakup because they learned nothing. You would only drag this out and find yourself in this same situation at another time down the road.
We live in a very fast past world where things are happening at lightning speed.
One of the most difficult things to do is to be still, be silent, and do nothing. But doing nothing will, in some cases, bring better results than taking action. You have lessons to learn, and so does your soulmate or twin flame. To fix a dysfunctional relationship, you both need to learn them. By enabling the situation to remain the same by doing all the work, you will never have a relationship that is a true partnership.
Your insecurity in your relationship keeps you doing everything to please someone that takes you for granted. They will lose respect for you and you will lose respect for yourself. Let them learn their lessons all by themselves.
Don’t be so concerned with when they learn it, be more concerned they learn it. You want to do something? Well, work on yourself, do for yourself, and ask yourself what lesson you should be learning from all of this. After all, lessons will be repeated until you learn them.
Originally posted on 04/05/2013 @ 9:34 am