Can You Get Over the Pain of Losing a Soulmate Or Twin Flame?

It will take effort to get over the pain of losing a soulmate or twin flame. It can be a very painful experience.

As your soulmate or twin flame relationship began, you felt so much love, joy and happiness. But this will now be offset by an equal amount of pain and emotional turmoil as the relationship ends.

Many people believe spiritual relationships are supposed to last forever. In a sense they do, but only in the spiritual realm.

On the earthly plane, these relationships are in our lives for a reason or a season, but not always a lifetime. You can get over the pain of losing a soulmate or twin flame. But it’s going to take some discipline and perseverance on your part.

So how can you get over the pain of losing a soulmate or twin flame?

It’s going to take a lot of effort as well and mental fortitude to move past it. The spiritual connection is one that’s very strong, with deep karmic roots. Unplugging the connection from your energy can really have a devastating effect on your psyche and well being.

The thing to remember is that you’re not alone. Many people have come through this experience. And they’ve lived, to love again, in this lifetime. Allow yourself some time to grieve. This isn’t an easy experience, so be gentle with yourself. Once the crying, punching pillows and eating ice cream is over, it’s time to get on with your life.


1. Focus on yourself

Find a passion for something in your life and go with it. If you don’t have a passion, find one. It can be anything, but it needs to be something that will refocus your mind. This helps you stop thinking about them, the relationship and the connection.

Many people have gone back to school to learn how to do something new. Others redecorate their house or write books. Try taking dance classes or learn a new language. It doesn’t matter what it is as long as it is something you can focus on. It’s also better if it’s something that will improve your well being and personal growth.

2. Write in a journal

Putting down your feelings and emotions on paper is a good way of expressing and releasing them. You can write a letter to your soulmate or twin flame and express to them exactly how you feel. Tell them how the ending of your relationship has devastated your life.

This will not be an easy exercise because it will be an emotional experience. But it will also allow you let go of some of the anger and loss you’re feeling. Do NOT send the written words to your soulmate or twin flame. If you need further release, you can burn the pages and release it to the Universe.

3. Volunteer to help others

When we give to others, especially those in need, whether human or animals, it raises our vibration. The simple act of giving to those less fortunate than ourselves can make us grateful for our position in life. It’s sad that you’ve lost your spiritual partner. But there are others out there in the world who are homeless, without food, sick or in other dire conditions. Giving to them unconditionally will help heal your heart as you share with them.

4. Accept the lesson

Soulmate and twin flame relationships are in our lives to teach us life lessons. The experiences of these relationships will help you learn, grow and evolve. This is for the advancement of your soul and it’s journey here on Earth.

Unfortunately, most personal growth occurs through pain. It really is just the way it is. The pain of losing a spiritual partner is one of the most difficult experiences to overcome. You will definitely expand your awareness and consciousness through this experience.

Review your relationship with your soul partner. Was it perfect? When did things go wrong? Try and figure out what the lesson is. It could be simply the lesson of letting go once the relationship ends. There is a lesson in there, so embrace it.


You will find joy again. You will be happy again and you will love again. It’s going to take some time so focus on yourself, or others, and the healing will begin.

Not all soulmate or twin flame relationship endings are permanent. Many times there needs to be separation for a period of time to do something or learn something. Then many spiritual partners reunite.

Originally posted on 08/05/2014 @ 4:43 pm

33 thoughts on “Can You Get Over the Pain of Losing a Soulmate Or Twin Flame?”

  1. You can get over it, although it can be a very long process getting there. My first recommendation is to
    not dwell in what was.

  2. I met and decided to consciously leave my soulmate. We met 9 years ago and clicked instantly. Every time I have her beside me I feel my heart at peace, my soul feels so calm and any anxiety I have just flows out of my body. When I look into her eyes, there’s something deep inside I recognise. I feel like we have known each other for lifetimes. But life sometimes holds a different path for you. We are both very ambitious, and want very different things in our lives and careers. We live and work in different countries and neither will give their life up for the other. Stubbornness? Or a fear that being together will destroy this precious thing we have between us. We decided to ignore our feelings and pretend we didn’t feel what we felt. We both agreed we were incompatible for a variety of reasons. And convinced ourselves we would not have worked out in the end. But I think about her almost everyday. We still keep in touch but once every 6 months. Sometimes I feel her soul calling out to me and so I reach out. I can feel the moments she needs me and in reaching out, hope I can comfort her from far away.
    It’s been 9 years now and nothing has changed. She has dated other men but it has never worked out. I hope she finds her happiness one day and someone can give her the love and stability she deserves and I am reduced to just a memory in the back of her mind.

  3. I lost my soulmate to death. He died March 4, 2020 and it’s been nothing but pure hell since he died. We only knew each other 7.5 years but those were the best most amazing years of my life. He was my everything and the love of my life. Our life wasn’t perfect by no means but we had decided to work on our relationship but but he died while we were trying to start fresh. I will never heal from losing him. I feel his presence around me since his passing.

    • oh we are so so sorry you have had to go through this experience much love xox

    • Br kind to yourself. People say time heals but it just helps you learn how to survive. I lost mine 4 years ago all I want is to be wit him however, i have grand children family and friends that don’t want’me to be sad so we do go on. Sending prayers and hugs

  4. I met my twin soul, but it was weird coz I didn’t necessarily feel lusty/passionate feelings just a sense that we were the same souls in two bodies and a very pure love between us. We were in a relationship for a year and a bit and he was my best friend. I ended it because of this lack of passion. I desperately begged to be friends but he said he couldnt. The pain of him not being in my life is unbearable. I don’t know how to cope, my soul hurts but the relationship itself had too many difficulties eg. his temper and the fact he’s constantly smoking weed which makes him lazy and unmotivated.
    I had to end it in the end. But im devasted by the thought ill never see him again. It feels like he’s died. I don’t know how to get over this. I’m scared he’ll forget me when I know I never will.
    Also it’s hard because he didn’t understand why you’d ever end a relationship with someone you love and has been really angry and tells me I don’t love him. I do. I hate that he doesn’t think I do.

  5. I left my soulmate over 3 years ago when he wouldn’t, or couldn’t, stop drinking. I know it was the right decision, but I’m finding myself not being able to get over him. The reason being is our souls are still connected. I know when he’s sober; I literally scream inside during those times. When he’s relapsed, the connection feels deadened and I’m able to function better. I know he’s sober right now and I feel like I’m literally dying or in hell. It’s literally physically painful. I feel empty. Even though I haven’t been in contact with him in about a year, my soul just knows, every time. I’ve tried everything. Therapy, writing, exercise, prayer, church, hobbies, dating other people. Nothing has truly helped me heal. I don’t know what to do. I’ve been coming to the realization I am probably just going to be alone until I die, or he becomes sober for good and I don’t see that happening. It’s so sad. I’m so sad.

  6. My soulmate left me so easily. I have been in a hell for almost three since she left. Is it possible I was not/am not her soulmate? If so, she faked it pretty well.

  7. I have left my soulmate since a month..i loved him more then him.we were associated closly and now he left me and found another life partner he started to hate me and blocked my nombur also.
    .im so upset and i cant forget him what can i do to forget an refresh my mind.?
    When i try to forget him our memories are coming infront of the eye its so difficult to forget him…

  8. I’ve lost my soul mate recently.. we were together just over 3 1/2 years, friends for 5years.. She helped me through my previous abusive relationship, was my best friend, always there for me. She struggled seeing how i was treated, and even after it ended it with my ex she wanted me to focus on myself for a while rather than jumping into things with her.. our love grew over the time we were friends, this knowing and understanding without words. The way that she looked at me, like she could see every part of my soul. When we were together it was like electric. The connection we had was so deep, the love so real. Ive never been so happy or felt so high in my life. But towards the end, it became so toxic. Everything was amplified with her, the highs and lows, the arguments.. The intensity of love and happiness was matched in the negative emotions too.. Things just couldn’t continue. I’ve never felt pain like this, like a black hole is swallowing me from the inside. I feel like when I gave my heart to her, it truly no longer belonged to me, and it hasn’t returned after 5months so far. Im so empty and consumed in pain, drowning with sadness. I try and distract myself with work, a new course, redecorating. But she’s in everything I do. Every beat of my heart hurts, breathing hurts, existing hurts. Ive never cried so much in my life. Our songs, tear my apart, films I can’t watch, things I just can’t see or hear anymore without breaking down. My soul is shattered. I love her more than words can describe, it doesnt even compare to love really its a whole feeling of its own.. And now shes gone. I don’t think I’ll ever get over this

    • I am experiencing the same. The only way i cam carry on is to discard my feelings and watch the universe blow them to smithereens.
      I dont know how to live the rest of my life and when i die, i will never come back to this earth.

  9. 2 yrs later and I still feel like the day it ended. :( I don’t even know where to begin anymore.

  10. I met my soulmate this past July while I was on vacation in london. Downloaded a dating app and went on a date with him not thinking much of it. But when we met up and started talking and we just connected instantly. We had the same sense of humor, the same values, etc. it didn’t even feel like a first date it felt like we’ve known each other for years because we were so at ease with one another. Sadly we only have 5 more days to spend together as I was leaving back home, so we went on two other dates spending the night together twice and staying up till 5 in the morning talking and getting to know each other. We agreed to continue to keep in touch when I left the country and tried to give long distance a try. Then out of the blue two weeks ago he decided to end things because he found the long distance thing too painful. And it hurt me so much because we were making plans to visit each other and go on vacation together. I actually plan on moving to london to go to University there and I’ve always wanted to live there even before meeting him. And it just hurts because we didn’t have a chance to properly be together. I love him so much and I feel something so strong for him and I feel like it was all in my head because he just dropped me like I was nothing and it makes me wonder if my feelings were one sided. If all the things he said to me about us being together one day and having a future together was just a lie. I feel so heartbroken. It makes me want to never open up myself again. I feel like I’ve lost my soulmate and I don’t know if I’ll ever recover. He made life worth living. He was the tiny bit of light i held onto in this dark world. And now it’s gone.

  11. Long story short i lost my soulmate after 6months. Now we can’t afford to get back together. He lives in another state now. He went to jail and lost everything. I think it is time to let him go. I can’t leave my son and go be homeless in a different state. He could come here but if he gets a job he will never come here. It is hopeless. I will never see him again. Life has been over since he left me. He never should have left. Life without him sucks i wish it would just end.

  12. I met my soulmate when I was 15 and she was 13. We have always been in love, for the entire 23 years since then. We have lost touch and found eachother again several times over the years. We have been together in the past, but now I’m with someone else. We reconnected again last summer, but there was about an 8 year period where we lost touch again, but the love is always there, on both ends. I’ve tried so damn hard to keep her in my life this time. I have given everything that I have to give. She admittedly has developed some personality disorders over the years. She doesn’t have much money, is a single mom, and doesn’t have good enough insurance to see a psychiatrist. She is definitely manic/ i-polar. When she is riding a high, she is so awesome. But they are short and over quickly. Her loss last for months and she doesn’t treat me very well at all during those times. She has also admitted that she isn’t even taking her meds. I got very angry at the way I was being treated and didn’t contact her for 4 months. It at the same time, she didn’t try to contact me either. It was killing me and so I gave in and called her. I told her that I can’t live without her… but truth is, the way she is now… I can’t live with OR without her anymore. Anyway, after promising she would change and telling me how much she needs me, she is back in a low again and it’s all too obvious. Basically living up to none of her promises. I wish that I could stop loving her and just stop thinking about her, but nothing works. I feel so isolated and alone. I have put sooo much into this. She has obvious mental health problems that I can’t fix for her. I just don’t know where to go from here. I’m exhausted

  13. Im losing mine due to the fact that his mother does not want to accept me as im following a different religion. He is scared to push the matter with her because of his love and respect for her. At the same time I dont want my presence to cause a problem between him and his mother because I know it will cause complications in our marriage. I feel so lost. I have chosen to leave him but I can’t see myself with anyone else as for the past 10 years that we have known each other (ive tried moving on and dating other guys in the time we werent together). .
    he has been and always will be the missing piece to my puzzle.

  14. I lost my soulmate at the age of 20, I lost him due to the fact that I wasn’t being 100% honest and truthful with him, which hurt him more and more. I have a lot of growing to do and it’s not fair to him to hurt because of my growing. I love this guy, I care deeply for him, I hope one day he can forgive me. I want to become a better person for myself, and to not hurt anyone else like I did to him. I feel very empty and lonely right now, missing his presence in my life.

  15. my soulmate left me due to me turning to drink and drugs instead of turning to her. i was diagnosed with cancer in march then lost my job due to hospital appointments and things just got harder and turned away from her and drank my fears and worries away when i should of talked to her and opened up and talked about my fears but i just tried being a man about it but i have lost everything so now i have nothing but a broken heart an unstable mind cancer concerns and the everyday struggle to keep my self alive and not end myself. we were together for 6 years and i have never felt that way about anyone it actually hurts being away from her. who knew a broken heart was a real thing and losing your soulmate would be so devastating. so my advice is. if you are lucky enough to find your soulmate make sure you cherish and treasure every second of it. and never let it go because i would not wish the way i feel on my worst enemy. i’m still in agony over this loss and i still wake up every single day wishing i hadn’t.

  16. I believe I lost my soul mate. We got together when I was 16. Instant connection, and a feeling of importance and this person being in my life for a long time. It was intense it was passionate but it was “forbidden” at the time because I fell in love with a girl (im a woman). It was on and off for a couple of years due to braking it off to please my family but never being able to let her go or get over her, her as with me.
    Eventually our lives separated, I am married to a wonderful man with two kids and she is in a same sex relationship. But I don’t think I’ve still got over her. I think about her often and I feel like I have all his left over love for her and it’s driving me crazy. I still Iove her, I still feel drawn to her. I know it’s not healthy but I can’t seem to break this connection with her.

  17. It’s been 2.5 years and I still think of my ex every day. I’ve done everything this post suggests and I still can’t get my ex out of my head. Help, please!

    • I’ve even remarried. Wrong thing to do, though, because my relationship is in shambles and I don’t trust him nor respect him.

  18. Yes you can, because I have done it. BUt it takes a lot of perseverance and healing

  19. How can I find out if he will be back if I live in Australia ?please I need your help I’ve done everything to forget and to be honest I still feel him and his pain of this ending as well but ther are my family his family didn’t agree or like us together so he took the easy way out

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