Dwelling on a Soulmate or Twin Flame is not Productive

Dwelling on a soulmate or twin flame can be a double-edged sword.

If things are great between the two of you, then dwelling on your partner fills you with positive thoughts and emotions. However, if things between you have hit a snag, dwelling on your partner can drive you to the depths of despair.

It’s very difficult not to think about your soulmate or twin flame. If it is bringing positivity into your life, great. But if it’s making you depressed, anxious or stressed, you need to stop. It’s not doing you any good. Replaying things over and over in your mind will only negatively affect your mental health.


If your relationship with your soulmate or twin flame hits a snag, focus on yourself first. What part of the problem belongs to you? Even if they’re at fault, look deeper for your role in the problem. How are you reacting to it? Are you excusing it too easily and now it’s become a habit?

If so, focus your mind on what you need to do differently. And stop worrying if what you do differently will work. Now if you’re in the wrong, you need to take a long look at yourself.

Do you realize that at some point you could lose your spiritual partner? They’re not going to put up with your behavior indefinitely. Changing your behavior is what’s required of you. Don’t expect the universe to fix your problems. That is your job, not theirs.

Stop going through every worst case scenario in your head. Focusing on the fears can make them manifest. Stop dwelling on the lessons your partner must learn. Don’t worry about when they will learn their lesson.

Create change within yourself.

Have you been acting out because you’re insecure? Maybe you were being too clingy because you have abandonment issues. Look for what is triggering you and learn to change your reaction to it.

Your triggers are not always for other people to tiptoe around. Sometimes your triggers need to be healed. Otherwise you can lose relationships, friends, jobs, and basically not have the quality of life you want.

Stop making it all about them. You are not perfect, no one is. We could all use some inner work. The universe brought you together to teach both of you some important lessons. If you’re too busy with your partner’s lessons, how can you learn your own? You can’t.

Perhaps your lesson is to learn to pull back, or enforce boundaries, and not just with words. Perhaps your lesson could be to stop being such a control freak. Everyone’s lessons are different, and it’s up to you to discover them. So how can you blame your partner for not learning their lessons, if you refuse to learn yours?


Perhaps you’re dwelling on a soulmate or twin flame who is no longer in your life. You have every right to grieve that relationship and try and heal. However at some point you need to find a way to draw your energy back to you, and away from them.

Dwelling on a Soulmate or Twin Flame is not Productive
Dwelling on a Soulmate or Twin Flame is not Productive

It’s not about cutting the cord. It’s about giving them less attention. The more energy you give to thoughts and feelings about them, the harder it will be on you. It’s like feeding a monster, it will just grow and grow.

Furthermore, dwelling does nothing to bring your soulmate or twin flame back to you any quicke. We understand you miss and long for them. The pain is unbearable. But are you sure they will never be in your life again? No, especially if your soulmate or twin flame has a habit of coming in and out of your life.

Instead of dwelling on the unknown, look at what you know.

If you know your soulmate or twin flame is guilty of habitually leaving and coming back, then expect the same thing from them again. Instead of dwelling on why they keep leaving, ask yourself why you keep allowing this to happen. Again, take ownership of your role in this.

Change what you do, so you can bring about change in your relationship. If this is the first time they have left, look at what you can learn. Did you push them away or act inappropriately? If you did, don’t just promise yourself you won’t do that again. Look at why you did it. What triggered you?

Look for ways to ensure it doesn’t happen again. You don’t want to tell your spiritual counterpart you learned your lesson when you didn’t. It’s a big mistake to promise you’ve changed when you didn’t. Your soulmate or twin flame will be even angrier if you do it again. So now, on top of everything else, you lied and broke a promise. You are making this worse for yourself by not getting your act together.

Dwelling isn’t productive and if left unchecked can quickly morph into twin flame or soulmate obsession. Studying and learning from your past relationships can help you discover your triggers and find productive ways of healing them.

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