Controlling behavior often pops up in soulmate or twin flame relationships. Since the connections are out of anyone’s control, it is easy to see why the desire to control something is so prevalent. Controlling behavior ruins a relationship. A person who feels the need to control a relationship often finds themselves alone in the end. At first, the desire to control can be manipulated to look as though you are doing something because you love someone, or want what is best for them. After the initial honeymoon phase ends, and the controlling behavior takes over and become more predominant in the relationship, the person being controlled gets sick of it.
CONTROLLING BEHAVIOR COMES FROM INSECURITIES
Controlling behavior and the need to control another, comes from the controller’s insecurity. Soulmate and twin flames are often insecure because they have never been in a relationship like this before. A man may be very insecure, and because of that, not treat the woman he loves very well. Instead of working on his insecurities and treating her better, he decides to try and control her. Because he is jealous and insecure, he wants to control how she dresses. He wants to decide who she hangs out with, and if she wears make up. He may also try and keep her away from her friends and family, because it is easier to control someone when they are isolated. Women do this too, by the way. They may try and keep the man they love from his friends and family, and even his children.
This is not about love, but about selfish, insecure control. It is dysfunctional, and based on weakness, not strength. Sure, if you do not want the one you love to hang around an ex, that makes sense. If you are trying to keep them from every member of the opposite sex, that is childish, immature, and unreasonable. We understand you do not want to lose your soulmate or twin flame. We get it. But by being too controlling, there is a good chance you will.
PEOPLE WHO NEED TO CONTROL THRIVE ON DRAMA
People who practice controlling behavior are often Drama Queens or Kings as well. Believe it or not, soulmates and twin flames do drama very well. If you do something innocent like meeting your friends or family members for lunch you are doing nothing wrong. You should not be uncomfortable the entire time because you are afraid of what they will say or do if they find out. Why the hell shouldn’t you be able to enjoy lunch with your friends instead of worrying about how they will react? What you do not realize is that by trying to keep the peace and adapt to their controlling nature you are making him or her worse. The relationship has no future.
You need to look at the root of the insecurity. Where is it coming from? Is your soulmate or twin flame actually doing or saying something that is making you insecure? Is it an issue from your past that you have not resolved? Once you know where it is coming from, you can begin to let that insecurity go. It takes work, and that work takes time. Don’t think that if you and your twin flame or soul mate are together long that the insecurity will disappear by itself. It won’t. The time is now to let go of the controlling behavior in your relationship. If you need help on your individual situation, feel free to contact Sarah Adelle or Sophia Elise for a private reading via click4advisor.