Does your soul mate always make you the bad guy? Can your soul mate twist things around to always make it come out that they are the victim, and you the bad guy? Are you tired of feeling guilty, having to explain yourself, and apologizing when you really don’t feel you should have to? Have you had enough of your relationship revolving only around your soul mate’s feelings all the time? Are the fights about little things getting monotonous because your soul mate blows them out of proportion?
At some point everyone gets tired of being the bad guy all the time. If you are a good person, and you do something wrong, you of course would feel guilty about it and want to make amends. If you are a good person that likes to keep the peace, you may try and make amends even when it is not your responsibility to do so. But good people have a threshold too, and it shouldn’t be crossed. The time will come that you will refuse to accept that your soul mate is always making you the bad guy. So what should you do about it?
If your soul mate makes everything about them, it is time you let them know that everything you think and do is about them. Let them know that it is time they consider your feelings, or you will be done considering theirs. If they want their feelings to count, they have to count yours. When someone is always making you the bad guy, it is an effort to manipulate you. When your soul mate makes you the bad guy all the time, they conveniently draw attention away from themselves.
Pay no attention to what they have done wrong, instead, let’s concentrate on you, yet again. Forget about any major offense they may have committed, let’s spend our time concentrating on the trivial thing you did. Better yet, let’s blame your trivial thing as they reason they committed their major offense. While you are busy defending yourself from being the bad guy, they want you to take the responsibility for their actions or words as well. Don’t fall for it, and don’t feel guilty. You do have a right to your emotions if you have been provoked. But you are not responsible for theirs too. There are adult ways of handling things, and taking responsibility is the first step.
If you are tired of always being made out to be the bad guy, you have to change your way of reacting to it. Stop feeling guilty. Stop defending yourself. If you are the kind of person that will admit when you are wrong, then that is your only job. You don’t have to accept the bad guy label anymore. You don’t have to keep proving you are a decent human being anymore. You are human, just like they are. You make mistakes, and you should own up to them, and so should then. It can’t always be just you. So if your soul mate is constantly putting all the blame on you, call them out on it. Tell them you will no longer be responsible for every feeling, insecurity, bad reaction and bad behavior of theirs. Give that responsibility back to them, where it belongs.
Also check out our article When Your Soulmate is a Narcissist.