Many people believe they must endure dysfunctional relationships because someone is their soul mate or twin flame. Many people believe there will be obstacles that must be overcome with any soul mate or twin flame relationship. Some of them could be quite challenging. But if you find that you constantly compromise your own personal happiness by staying in a soul mate or twin flame relationship that leaves you feeling m miserable, unloved and unappreciated, it might be time to recognize the relationship has become dysfunctional.
You should also be aware of the difference between soul mate and twin flames. Some people are under the impression that twin flames can be dysfunctional, but we do not. Soul mates yes, twin flames no. Please refer to our article explaining the difference between soul mate and twin flame relationships.
Take a good, honest look at what you believe to be soul mate or twin flame relationship. Are you happy in this relationship? Were you happy in the beginning but can’t seem to find that happiness anymore? Does you soul mate or twin flame treat you unfairly, unkindly or unjustly? Do you tolerate behaviors from your twin flame that you swore you never would? Well unfortunately your relationship has become dysfunctional. You should also understand that because of the difference in soul mate and twin flame relationships you are more than likely in a soul mate relationship. They are not the same thing. We believe twin flame relationships cannot be dysfunctional relationships.
Fighting to keep your soul mate relationship going is like beating your head against the wall. Until you recognize that your relationship is a soul mate and not a twin flame relationship you will feel as though you are losing your mind. As a matter of fact you might as well just drop a bowling ball on your head and deal with the pain all at once. Relationships take commitment, compromise and communication and if you are the only one contributing the three “Cs” the relationship is doomed because there is one person contributing to the relationship. A soul mate relationship often can become dysfunctional because the relationship comes with a certain set of obstacles to be overcome.
You may hope your dysfunctional relationship will fix itself. It won’t. It’s success depends on the work that both soul mates put into it. No amount of time, love, having kids or buying a new home will fix a dysfunctional relationship. It will not get back to where it was in the beginning no matter how much you pray or how many candles you light. Sure, we believe in divine intervention but most of the time, you will have to intervene yourself.
Not all dysfunctional relationships need to stay broken. The good news is that some of them can be fixed. The first step is to recognize there is a problem. How can you tell? If your relationship has gotten way out of control, with no boundaries, no mutual respect for each other or for the relationship itself, it is a dysfunctional relationship. If he refuses to listen to you, does not contribute to your relationship and grunts at you instead of talking with you, it is a dysfunctional relationship. If your relationship is making you miserable, it is time to accept that it is dysfunctional.
On the other hand, not all dysfunctional relationships can be saved, no matter how much you love or desire someone. It will take work. And not just yours. Work that you are both committed to work on together. He or she has to be willing to step up to the plate as well and contribute to fixing things. If you catch the dysfunction early enough you can bring it back into balance. If too much damage has been done in during ‘hoping things will change’ time, chances are you will not be able to bring this back from the brink of failure.
So what are some changes you can make to repair dysfunctional relationships?
- Stop fighting ~ You know how to push each other’s buttons. Replace fighting with peaceful discussion or conversation. If you are calm but your soul mate want to fight, remove yourself from the situation until they calm down and able to speak like a normal person. Get counseling if they are willing, as this will help create better communication skills.
- Stop letting resentments build ~ Forgive the past so you can create a better future together.
- Stop waiting for change to happen ~ Take control and begin to create change in the your relationship. Take control of what YOU can. Your relationships is really not dependent upon what you soul mate says, does, or thinks.
- Take the high road ~ Stop stooping to behaviors that lower your dignity just to save the relationship. If you do or say anything that is beneath you, it compromises your integrity and makes you feel used.
- Let go, if you know it will never change ~ Find the right relationship that you want and deserve. If a relationship is so dysfunctional, never been healthy or brought you joy, it might be time to pack it in. Not all relationships are salvageable. Don’t wait for it to get worse.
You can’t stay in a relationship that is joyless just to wait and see if it will magically change down the road. The road itself is what is predicting your path. If the road is getting rockier you need to do something to get your on your right path.