Responsibility, accountability and free will are necessary aspects of our relationships and our lives in general. There are of course some things in life that we cannot control, prepare for or even see coming. Sometimes good things happen to bad people and bad things certainly happen to good people. Some things are out of our control, they are the luck of the draw or being in the wrong place at the wrong time. But not everything is out of our control and we cannot keep blaming others, the Universe, God or the Divine for the situations we find ourselves in or the problems we face. Many times in our lives we are faced with what we feel is a responsibility to others but we also must realize we have responsibility to ourselves.
When it comes to relationships, especially twinflame and soulmate relationships, we have to be accountable and responsible. We have to use our free will wisely. Lets say for example you meet a guy who led you to believe he is single. Later on down the line, however, you discover he lied. Should you beat yourself up over this? No. You are not he one at fault here, he is the one who lied to you. He made you believe he was single. But now you have proof he is a cheater and a liar. If you decide to continue this relationship, with someone who has proven to be a liar and cheater, should you really feel victimized when you uncover more of his lies and learn he is cheating on you as well? You took the risk. It was a long shot. If you want better odds with better outcomes choose less risky relationships. You have free will and you made the choice to stay with him even though he proved to you time and again that he was a liar and a cheater.
Many of our clients feel powerless in their romantic relationships and act as though they have no accountability, responsibility or free will. They feel they are victims because their relationships are out of their control. They feel their romantic partner is holding all the cards and calling all the shots in the relationship. And many times they are. But those who feel victimized are giving power to their partner and allowing them to call the shots. You can’t make someone treat you the way you deserve but you certainly can choose not to be around someone who treats you this way.
You can’t really choose who we fall in love with but you can choose to end a relationship with someone because you are not happy. If you choose to stay with someone, in any capacity, who mistreats you or does not express feelings for you, you should accept the responsibility for staying. You need to be accountable for exercising your free will to stay with them, even though they are making you miserable. The moment you realize someone is not right for you, you can have a pity party for a short time, but what you do is up to you. Not them. YOU. So don’t get mad at them for cheating again, breaking up with you again or breaking promises to you again. Don’t blame them. They are who they are and you should know that by now. If you stay, YOU are making that choice to give them the opportunity to hurt you again.
If you are unhappy, rather than assigning blame why not either accept the outcomes of the choices you made or make new choices that have different outcomes? It may suck that you were alone for your birthday but if you choose to be involved with someone who is married or does not want to spend your birthday with you, accept the responsibility for creating your own unhappiness and either accept that as your lot in life or go and find someone else who is available.
When someone chooses to stay in the role of victim they are giving away their own personal power. This is a very dis-empowering place to be. They may believe the Universe constantly throws them a pile of crap day after day after day that they must deal with which is the root of their unhappiness. They may even be mad a God. They don’t take responsibility for the actions and decisions that have created their reality. The Divine does not want us to be miserable. The Universe does give us challenges and obstacles in our lives that we must deal with and overcome, of course, but as they say, we are never really given more than we can handle. Sometimes we may bot dig in deep to find the courage and strength to deal with some of the challenges, but when we take responsibility for our decisions and actions, we grow and evolve as humans. And this, in a nutshell, is why we are all here.